---
title: "Catching Up"
date: 2026-01-30T13:30:00-04:00
draft: false
---

Hi. Its been quite a while since I wrote here.

I started writing here as an exercise in the Feynman technique. For example, the vector clock post was made when I started my masters; my first class was distributed systems.
Last year I set a goal for myself to post on here once a week, and you can see for yourself how well that went.

At that point in my life, especially 2024, I had this attitude of needing to optimize. Writing was something that I wanted to do to get more out of myself.
Between a sense of burnout 
{{< sidenote >}}Does anyone else experience the feeling of being overwhelmed at all they do, yet at the same time feel as though they have the potential to do so much more?{{< /sidenote >}}, 
and personal events, I have relaxed from this attitude.

I'm now more of a 'humanist'
{{< sidenote >}}I'm sure there is a real word for what I'm describing that I don't know{{< /sidenote >}}
now than I was before. I place more emphasis on the journey, and the emotional feedback I feel in the moment to things I do.
That's not to say I want to give in to the basic desires in the moment, as then I would never get anything done other than sitting playing games, watching youtube, and working on silly puzzles.
Rather I'm more aware of when I feel exhaustion, and listen to it rather than chastise myself, believing if I was a little stronger, I would be able to push through.

Part of me still longs for that feeling, as it was during that time that I learned the most at my job. I feel that has slowed down. I'm still struggling to come to terms with that,
and am still looking for ways to get more out of myself while preserving a 'humanist' mindset.

All of this to say, I'm attempting to write here more. But at my own pace. I hope to write to you soon, hopefully something more technical.

